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Joke of the Day

"Impatient means she's restlessly eager, inpatient means she lives in a mental hospital... Learned that one the hard way."

"""I'll teach you the gropes."" -perverted mentor"

"Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by... ""What's so funny?"" asks the dermatologist. ""Sorry, it's a inside joke."" replies the surgeon."

"A rapist, paedophile and priest enter a bar. He orders a beer."

"As schoolgirl skirts get shorter... ...anemia rates grow in Japan."

"How many libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb has to pull itself up by the bootstraps and screw itself in"

"A cop is confronted by a white guy with a gun and a black guy with a nerf bat. Who does he shoot first? The bystander with the camera."

"A cannibal passed his friend in the woods."

"College was the most expensive nap I ever took."

"Being hungry again a half hour after eating Chinese food isn't about the food being Chinese, it's about you being American."