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Joke of the Day

"How many libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb has to pull itself up by the bootstraps and screw itself in"

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"Why are Soviets so bad with the ladies? They're always Russian the fuckin' and Stalin the lovin' hehehe"
"I found a good bread recipe where you don't have to get your hands messy from mixing it The bread was kneadless, to say"
"How does a mermaid give birth? By sea-section!"
"I had another server go down on me at work. It's just how I interview waiting staff."
"I give it two weeks before Jay Leno starts tweeting from the new @ConanOBrienTwitter account."
"If Trump is the answer.... How stupid is the question?"
"Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money."
"My doctor said I have high cholesterol Because my dick is too fat"
"Q: Two men drive into a car wash. Which one is the Irishman? A: The one on the motorbike."