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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? Well, the wedding was terrible... but the reception was great!"

"What do you get if you cross a pitbull and a hooker? Your last blowjob."

"I'd have sex with you but I'm married... and she's staring at us right now... quick she looked away!"

"I'm going to the hospital tomorrow...not because I'm sick, but because they have free pudding if you're fast enough."

"In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo."

"Just once, I'd like to open up my refrigerator and find cartoon versions of my favorite foods arguing over which one of them is healthier."

"What kind of pistol should you use to shoot a bear? The one with the smallest barrel. It hurts the least when the bear shoves it up your ass."

"Traditional marriage was between a boy's parents and a girl's parents. And maybe some cattle."

"You know how they say ""you are what you eat""? I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning"

"I just changed the clock in my car to show the actual time here comes the good life"