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Joke of the Day

"Just once, I'd like to open up my refrigerator and find cartoon versions of my favorite foods arguing over which one of them is healthier."

"I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm."

"What did Courtney Love say before she shot Kurt? ""Hole is gonna be huge."""

"What did one ox say to another ox? A yoke."

"Why do we PARK on a DRIVEway, but my mom's boyfriend Craig won't let me call him Dad when we hug?"

"""Mounting debt"" sounds way sexier than it is."

"How did Kikkoman soy sauce move production to China? They outsauced it."

"I just walked in on two coworkers crying in a conference room and I was like, ""mind if I join?"""

"Once again, overheard my 13yo tell someone that I was born in the 1900s. Now I want to hide under the covers and stab all her teddy bears."

"To its credit, only like 8% of doing the Macarena involves heiling Hitler."