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Joke of the Day

"How do you kill vegetarian vampires? With a steak to the heart."

"Girl, did you fall out of heaven? Cause you're showing signs of deranged cognitive abilities in your brain highly suggestive of Post-concussion syndrome."

"Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins."

"Can't decide if I'm feeling jacked, pumped, or amped. Might just be constipated."

"2 blondes were walking along a beach when one said, ""Look! A dead bird!"" The other looked up."

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, said Papa Bear. Someone's been sleeping in MY bed, said Mama. Why don't u share a bed?! cried Baby Bear."

"The Bangles are getting their own cooking show. Wok Like an Egyptian"

"An idea for a board game... BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name."

"It doesn't make any sense for ugly girls to play hard to get. You're already playing hard to want."

"Why did the Pilgrims pants keep falling down Because his belt buckle was on his hat ..."