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Joke of the Day

"Will Smith's website isn't responding. What do you do? Refresh Prince of Bel Air."

"I'm still a bit shaken up. I was involved in a violent mugging this morning. On the plus side I did make $43 and I think the watch looks really good on me."

"Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop? Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice."

"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer... ... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"I was thinking about becoming a Muslim, I met a guy online that told me I could get a free vest if I signed up."

"What's the difference between a whore and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking after it's slapped"

"Q: How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"""

"Q: What part of the road is always crying? A: The breakdown lane."

"I dreamt I was being chased by a bizarre sentence with two poorly distinguished clauses. So I made a mad dash for it."

"What does Gwen Stefani say when it rains a lot in California? **No Drought.**"