80989
Joke of the Day
"Harry Potter joke Q. Why can't Snape teach Herbology? A. He can't keep the lilies alive."
Next Joke
"*Sees girl trying to reach soup on top shelf* ""Here let me get that"" I say [Beacuse I'm much taller] *I put the soup in my cart & walk away*"
"If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office... And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton."
"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just beat the room for being black."
"Yes he's financially stable & hasn't been to jail for domestic violence like the other guy but I can change the other guy wait & see - Women"
"New neighbours just moved in... I baked them some goodies as a welcome & a warning to never eat at my house."
"Why did the chicken run across the road? Because walking is for suckers."
"""I want my country back"" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country."
"I recently bought some fragranced candles They cost me several scents"
"How are parsley and pubic hair similar? You push them both aside and start eating."