73479

Joke of the Day

"I used to play the triangle in a reggae band. I would stand at the back, doing my ting."

"Vodka is just potatoes that made the right career choices."

"I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself."

"I remember when my mum used to tuck me in. She really wanted a daughter."

"Knock Knock Who there? Control freak Contro... Now you say control freak who!"

"Algorithm Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did."

"I know you seen me continuously push the ""close doors"" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it's just awkward"

"So I heard the workers in the Twin Towers tried to have chocolate delivered to them by drone. Asking for an Air Kraft wasn't one of their better ideas."

"I will love you 'til the end of time, or until my blood alcohol level normalizes, whichever comes first."

"What's white and drips from the cloud? The coming of the Lord."