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Joke of the Day
"Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back? The mall is hiring new Santas."
Next Joke
"Why do black people think about sex so much? Because there's pubes on their heads."
"My doctor told me to stay away from transfats So I can't go on Tumblr"
"Son: Dad, I need some money! Dad: You should get a job at the StarBrites factory. Son: Why? Do they pay well? Dad: You kidding? ***You'll make a mint!***"
"What is a pedophiles favorite Italian meal? Chicken Statutory....I'm going, I'm going...sorry but this is how my brain works before I've had coffee."
"Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib."
"What's the difference between organized crime and politics? One's organized."
"Who is Bobby Long? and why do all these reggae artists keep talking about wanting to burn him."
"PHIL COLLINS: Here tonight is the man who inspired my next song, ""Fat Shithead Clogged My Toilet."" [spotlight tracks me as I head for Exit]"
"7 y/o daughter: Hey dad, can I see your phone for a minute? Me: You got a warrant?"