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Joke of the Day

"Pokemon go in Brazil I heard Pokemon Go players in Brazil can catch an exclusive Pokemon... the Zikachu"

"My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, ""Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you."" *Soft kiss*"

"I'm having trouble discerning my Twitter voice from my professional one. I just said ""What's up, slut?"" to our receptionist. Frigid bitch."

"How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb Trick question, feminists can't change anything"

"*shaves 'I Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*"

"I'm sexually attracted to one of my students I knew that becoming a primary school teacher was a bad career choice"

"[At dentist] Dentist: Any plans for the weekend? Nnooiddtrrreeeskllyggfff Dentist: I'm not doing anything either."

"The Soviet Union won't ever rise again? What a bunch of Bolshevik."

"What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator? A caiman like a wrecking ball."

"If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap."