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Joke of the Day

"The 30-second elevator ride without cell service or Wi-Fi is by far the most terrifying part of my day."

"If I could have dinner with anybody, living or dead, I'd have pizza."

"Penis It's an insideher joke"

"I found out something today. You should always stay happy because 'sad' spelled backwards is das. Andd.... das not good."

"Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive."

"If you're going to attack me in an @, you better be prepared to give me like three hours or so to think of a good comeback."

"I bet when humans 1st learned to eat there were a lot of mishaps. ""Just tried the sand, Betty, probably a 2 out of 10. Don't eat the sand."""

"At first my business of selling airplanes struggled quite a bit But then it took off."

"Bloody Mary used to be Virgin Mary."

"The man who worte the Hokey Pokey died. They had a hard time placing him in the coffin. They put his left leg in, but as soon as they started trying to put the right leg in they had problems."