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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put him in the microwave til his Bill Withers."

"My wife likes to talk to me after sex. It really bugs me when she calls me from her hotel room."

"My friend is getting on in years but still wants to stay hip with new technology. I call him Instagrampa."

"Why did Snoop Dog go to cinnabon? Fo' Drizzle"

"Tonight's parenting lesson: If a 2-year-old says, ""I'm going to puke,"" FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T CALL HER BLUFF. I need a shower."

"In third grade a boy gave me a valentine that said ""You're the Obi Wan for me"" and that's the highlight of my entire dating experience."

"How many /r/Jokes users does it take to make a Joke? WRONG! They don't make it, they steal it..."

"Used to be a stoner..... but I got all of that out my system in high school."

"""Thanks for the clarification."" ~ Melted butter"

"Have you heard about the Rwandan massacre? They don't know Hutu blame."