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Joke of the Day

"The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off."

"I'm opening a store that specializes in selling automatic weapons. It's called Bloodbath & Beyond"

"How do you fit 100 Jews in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 1 in the boot and the rest in the ashtray."

"Twilight werewolf Taylor Lautner turns 18 today. That makes him 126 in dog years so, unfortunately, we're going to have to put him to sleep."

"Accidentally OD'd On Benefiber The other day I accidentally OD'd on Benefiber. Boy, the shit really did hit the fan."

"What do you call the sexual tension between Hillary and Bill Clinton? The Bern"

"When does a non-believer become a dirty kafir infidel? When he leaves the room."

"Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!"

"Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game? He got suspended."

"A dyslexic agnostic stays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog."