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Joke of the Day
"Why are high school girls only 13, 15, or 17? Because OMG, they like LITERALLY can't even."
Next Joke
"Which two letters on the keyboard are the furthest from each other? X and V. There's a C between them."
"A suicide bomber is teaching some new recruits... He said, ""Watch this demonstration carefully. I'm only going to do this once."""
"Why are there so many female archaeologists? Because women love digging up old shit."
"Saw a guy on the side of the road with a ""will work for food"" sign. So I threw him a coconut."
"Made the mistake of letting my east coast newspaper freeze on the steps this winter... I've fallen on some hard Times."
"*Takes kids for sushi before seeing ""Finding Dory""*"
"Holy crap! This guy in the car next to me is absolutely losing his shit over ""My Heart Will Go On""...said the guy in the car next to me"
"What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? Homeless."
"I call my dick Little Ceasers. It's hot and ready but it tastes like shit."