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Joke of the Day
"So, what're all of us fortunate people complaining about today?"
Next Joke
"Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie? Because it was PG"
"[nabisco hq] ""Wheat Thins sales are down we need ideas"" *raises hand* ""anyone else?"" ... ... ""ok Dan, but I swear to god if u say-"" Wheat Thicks"
"One can't fly, but a toucan."
"I don't see dead people, I just see people that I wish were dead."
"Staring deeply into the abyss. Paralyzed by fear. Unable to move, let alone function. In short, yes, Pandora. I'm still listening."
"Didja hear about this Calcutta couple who had a little baby girl looked just like a frog? They named her Polly-wog."
"What branch of government actually listens to the people? [The NSA !](/spoiler)"
"[At microphone] *clears throat* ""Salsa. Ballet. Conga. Waltz. Jitterbug. Tap."" *crowd cheers* ""Thanks for attending my dance recital."""
"Yo momma's so fat She drives a spandex car."