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Joke of the Day

"Everyone has to pay for their mistakes... except for banks. Banks are apparently exempt from a lot of shit."

"What kind of key opens a casket? A skeleton key."

"What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of? A Doberman puncher!"

"when nothing goes right... go left"

"Terror attack in New York Thousands of people scream as Mariah Carey bombs Time Square"

"Why can't an angle lease an apartment alone? Because he has to cosign"

"If you cannot afford a stenographer, a 4 year old will be appointed for you to repeat exactly what you said at all times. Do you understand?"

"*hears suspicious noise in backyard, is too lazy to get up & investigate* *smells cookies baking at neighbors house, immediately goes over*"

"What do you call a part gopher, part duck, and part you? A Gophuckyourself."

"What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt. :)"