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Joke of the Day

"I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I'm with a screaming two year old wondering, ""Who is that solo genius?"""

"I want to become a lawyer just so I can defend all my clients in court by saying, ""I mean, don't we all make mistakes"""

"How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the pyschopath"

"Gene Therapy The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder. This is the place for wordplay, right?"

"[1st Date] (Okay, don't let her know you're addicted to eating fruit) Me: This is good [2nd Date] [3rd Date] [4th Date] [5th Date] Her: Stop"

"What is Lionel Messi's favorite soft drink? Si, era Missed"

"The avengers walk into a bar Except vision. He phased."

"A man goes up to an indian woman... he says ""you must be ladesh?"" she goes ""what do you mean?"" ""well this summer, im goin to Bangladesh"""

"What does a mentally disabled lizard said to be diagnosed with? A Reptile Dysfunction *ba dum tss* I'll be here all night folks"

"Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ? Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally."