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Joke of the Day

"How many Freudians does it take to change my mother? Edit: Sorry, I mean light bulb. &nbsp; A: Two. One to change the light bulb, and one to hold my dick. &nbsp; Edit: Dang. I mean the ladder."

"I was an unpopular child I got beat up a lot at school, but even though my teachers couldn't stop the beatings, they did give me a gym credit for them."

"My friend's son really has trouble reading and writing. I told him he's probably quite unliterate."

"Treat your woman like you treat your smartphone: touch her often, stare at her, and make her the most important thing in your life."

"Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football.."

"Polls show some interesting things Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape"

"In the days before the Internet... did black people watch Cops to see what their family and friends were up to?"

"I raped a blind woman the other day. She didn't see me coming."

"hello 911? yes do you think i'm pretty"

"I walked to the bus stop. This morning I walked to the bus stop and I saw a man there, drinking out of a paper bag. So I said, ""Morning!"" to be friendly And he said, ""Nah I'm just an alcoholic."""