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Joke of the Day

"I walked to the bus stop. This morning I walked to the bus stop and I saw a man there, drinking out of a paper bag. So I said, ""Morning!"" to be friendly And he said, ""Nah I'm just an alcoholic."""

"Whats the difference between a prostitute with chronic diarrhea and an epileptic oyster fisherman? The prostitute fucks between shits and the oyster fisherman shucks between fits."

"If you replace the ""W"" in ""where"" ""what"" and ""when"" with ""T"" you get answers to the questions."

"This year I got my wife the Baking Bible for Christmas because last year I got her the Baking Quran, which really blew up in my face."

"You see me driving 'round town with your Alzheimer's mom and she's like, forget you."

"It has been said that 25% of people have a distrust of stairs Because they are always up to something"

"Maybe being fat isn't bad, it just sounds awful because we say 'morbidly obese'. Let's switch it to 'cheerfully obese' and see what happens."

"Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest? Because he has a woodpecker!"

"I was dancing with a girl in a nightclub. ""What are we going to do after this?"" I asked her. She said, ""How does sex sound?"" I said, ""Soggy."""

"I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren't allowed to talk about what they did at work all day."