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Joke of the Day

"What word starts with F, ends with UCK, and people look for it when things get too hot... A Fuck. The word is ""fuck""... honestly, I lead you right to it"

"Pornstars would make pretty good lawyers... People wouldn't mind getting fucked by them!"

"""I'm just gonna pull on weird animal parts until something comes out that I can drink"" -guy who discovered milk"

"Women can't seem to resist my charms. What? They're magically delicious."

"When I leave a plane, I tighten the belts before I leave so that whoever sits there next will think ""wow, whoever sat here was very thin""."

"What's the difference between marriage and identity theft? At least with identity theft you know you're getting fucked."

"When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, ""I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."""

"Why do men like football? Because the biggest priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man's life.... Scoring and Ball Security."

"How do you pick up a Jewish girl? With a dustpan."

"Nurse pops her head into the doctor's office..... Nurse: 'Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.' Doctor: 'Tell him I can't see him.'"