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Joke of the Day

"Saw a cute girl at work today. I told her I get off in five minutes and she smiled. Then I said I finish work in one hour and she left."

"What website do gay guys use for their e-mail? HotMale.com"

"Sometimes I like to stand in front of a mirror and reflect."

"Why doesn't Hitler go ski? Cause he's blown his fucking head."

"What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode? SKU me"

"Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect."

"Why is Superman's costume so tight? Because it only comes in size 'S'"

"How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database? Pop, Lock & Drop It"

"The difference between Sean Connery and a Silica Tetrahedron One's an ionic bond, the other's an iconic Bond."

"When asked by the creepy guy at the bar ""Why aren't you smiling?"" my go-to answer is always ""My yeast infection really is bubbling up."""