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Joke of the Day
"If I had a dollar for everytime I unnecessarily sexualize a sentence, I'd have 69 dollars."
Next Joke
"We would tease Jacob because he had glasses. Once we pulled them of him, but then he began to tease us because we had glasses."
"They said being blind would hinder my chances of becoming a comedian. I don't see them laughing now."
"Whenever I'm not feeling well, I just imagine Tyrannosaurus Rex masturbating."
"how do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? one will see you later, and the other in a while"
"[cat shelter] Me: so u don't test for it but u say none of them have it? Owner: we've never come across a cat with martial arts training, no"
"Asked for ""change for a dollar"" at the Dollar Store and they just gave me a different dollar."
"If a cat won an Oscar what would he get? An a-cat-emy award."
"Didja hear an LGBT singer just came out with a cover of that Santana Grammy-winner from a few years back? It's called ""Brooth"""
"""asparagai"" is what i call multiple asparagus, but don't take my word for it. get your own word for multiple asparagus"