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Joke of the Day

"Yelling ""shotgun"" when getting in a car means a seat in the front. Yelling it before getting on a plane means a seat in the TSA office."

"Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations? Santa Clues."

"What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"A Woman Comes To The Physician - Herr doctor! My husband is very sick! - OK. Get undressed and show me what does he complain of..."

"It's not that I think I'm out of your league. Its more that I'm not even sure we're playing the same sport."

"The only reason kids like Christmas is because they're not the ones buying all the presents."

"Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he's calling me to sell Amway products.."

"If Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg adopted a child... they could call it Slush Puppy :)"

"Do you know what the square root of 69 is? Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)"

"I carry a magic 8 ball because no one should have to make tough decisions alone."