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Joke of the Day
"Who was the first black person accepted into Harvard University? The Janitor"
Next Joke
"A 2-hour movie called ""Can You Watch My Kid For Like 15 Minutes?"""
"The shape... Did you know? The shape of your mouth as you say the word ""poop"" is the same that your butthole makes when you poop! Same goes for diarrhea."
"Mortal: What is a million years like to you? God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you? God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny? God: Just a second."
"Pro tip: Next time you're at a bar, go up to a woman & whisper ""Hey, wanna get outta here?"" If she says yes, you can sit where she was."
"What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke? Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window"
"If anyone needs me, I'll be spending the rest of my life under this bathroom light that gives my abs a hint of definition."
"i hate when the news guys say ""our nation's capital"". stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is"
"My favorite drinking game is that one where you drink every time you have access to booze."
"""I am as misquoted as Marilyn Monroe."" - Abe Lincoln"