209318

Joke of the Day

"Pro tip: Next time you're at a bar, go up to a woman & whisper ""Hey, wanna get outta here?"" If she says yes, you can sit where she was."

Next Joke
 
"Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status. He now goes by Mill Gates."
"Scientists proved that cows don't give us meat and milk. We just take it from them!"
"They're creepy and they're kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They're all together ooky The Twitter Family *click click*"
"FRIEND: get our wedding invitation? ME: i did, somebody hand wrote 'do not bring pan flute' F: yea i really wanted to make sure you saw that"
"What present did the kid with no hands get? Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet."
"Why do vultures hate flying? Because they have to pay extra for Carrion! Budum tsssss"
"What do you call a teeth specialist who writes books? An author-dontist Wahey!"
"You know its my phone if it looks like someone fingerpainted the touch screen in donut glaze."
"before you do a horrific crime, double check whether you could get the death penalty for it and if so whether you really want to do it"