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Joke of the Day

"When I retire, I want to be a hunter... I wanna go out with a bang"

"Last night a horse asked me if I was planning on driving home. There might've been a cop on top of it."

"Quidditch. Scratching yourself with a pound coin."

"Why did they name golf golf? Because fuck was already taken."

"Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom? While the crowd was doing the wave two blondes drowned."

"What do you say to two dust particles making out in the street? Get a broom, you two."

"I'm opening a funeral home that has a bar in it. I know right?"

"Which side of a horse has the most hair? The OUTSIDE! oh-my-goodness, that's hilarious! ~Skip"

"Walmart has an alarming amount of security camera video with me humping stuff with a swimming pool noodle."

"What do you call a Pumpkin who eats too much? A Plumpkin."