72333

Joke of the Day

"I just invented a cell phone that looks like a beer can. Now all you idiots can look cool when you take your picture in a mirror."

"What do you call the runs in space? The floats"

"Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning."

"One day the bass player hid one of the drummer's sticks. The drummer said ""finally! After being a drummer for so long now I am a conductor!"""

"Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?"

"Yo mama so poor [21st Century Update] she still has her daddy genitals"

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You hit her"

"Apparently, people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones... ...But people in Abu Dhabi DOOOOOOO!"

"A horse walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bank. A horse drives a car. Welcome to horse country. There's shit everywhere please help us."

"Why are fire trucks red? Because if someone pulled your hose you would be red too."