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Joke of the Day

"[marriage counseling] She's always getting mad at me ""There's a shark living in our pool"" IT WAS SHARK WEEK AND HE WAS ON SALE, KAREN"

"If you cloned yourself, and then you become attracted to yourself and ended up having sex with your clone...does that make you gay, or are you just on the forefront of masturbation technology?"

"Why can't a blonde count to 70? Because 69 is a mouthful."

"What would you call a set of old school rapper emojis? Em-OGs"

"Why did the chicken hold a seance? To get to the other side."

"Why did the Catholic cross herself?"

"My Doctor told me I had the Big C. I asked him to be more pacific."

"Why is women's soccer so rare? It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you wouldn't know it."

"What was Hitler's favorite breakfast cereal? Reich Crispies."