27

Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken hold a seance? To get to the other side."

"""The 59th rule of Fight Club is, we cant park in the lot on Vermont anymore - The owner is being a jerk. Just find street parking. 60th..."""

"Finding Nemo 3: Nemo's mom isn't dead. Nemo's dad kidnapped Nemo to avoid a custody dispute. Nemo's mom finds them. It's a revenge tale."

"What do a racist and an apple have in common? They both look good hanging from a tree"

"I think I CAN wander the restaurant with my robe open and eat off of your plate, sir. This is Olive Garden. When you're here, you're family."

"A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"Why did you destroy that urinal cake? Peer pressure"

"[paying at chipotle] ME: i got a burrito CLERK: that'll be ten dollars ME: with guac CLERK: that'll be ten thousand dollars"

"I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas."

"What does a preverted frog say? Rubbit."