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Joke of the Day

"I just read that the average person spends 2 weeks waiting for a traffic light to change. Fuck that. I'd run it after 3 or 4 minutes tops."

"Did you hear about the dumb woman who had... Did you hear about the woman who had two chances to get Pregnant? She blew them both..."

"Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid"

"After many years I've realized I'm allergic to beer. It causes me to break out in places. Places I have no idea how to get home from."

"What did the right breast say to the left breast in the mirror? You look like a right tit in that."

"So there is a First class only Indian Airline. Their motto is ""We will treat you passengers like Cattle"""

"Probably the Grossest Joke I Know How do Vampires Make Tea? Used Tampons"

"Puberty doesn't hit asians Their parents do."

"Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or you're taking sh!t from some @sshole!"

"Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies? Chicks dig stars."