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Joke of the Day

"The fattest man in Britain has sadly died. Cremation will be held at 12PM on Wednesday..... and Thursday..... and Friday."

"A gay guy and a cow?"

"Why should you never trust an atom? They make up everything"

"If someone from Poland is called a Pole, what's someone from Holland called? Dutch."

"FACT: Had kids for one reason; to send them to the basement for paper towels when I run out of them in the kitchen. It's scary down there."

"How did the greeks separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar."

"What's all brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!"

"If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn't, you should know that I ignored you first."

"Sadly, very few people get this joke: ""A termite walks into a bar and asks 'Is the bar tender here?'"" -What's your favorite joke that no one gets?"

"Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face."