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Joke of the Day

"At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers"

"What city loves to eat sandwiches? Koldcutta"

"I painted my computer black last night Now it runs much faster"

"It has been proven that girls with profile picture of them selves in the mirror are more likely to send nudes."

"My favorite response to someone asking how something works... ""Magic"" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy"

"I am married to 4 different women And it's bigamy to admit it."

"Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? A: He sold his soul to Santa."

"A vegetable walks into a bar... Just kidding, he'll never walk again."

"""At least your heart's in the right place,"" I say, softly running my hand across a translucent take-out container."

"Go Pats! (I mean people named Pat. Can't be easy for them.)"