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Joke of the Day

"What did Brad Pitt in Seven and Harvey Weinstein in real life both get? Gwyneth Paltrow's head."

"A stallion and a mare where due to get married but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. The trouble's getting them in there."

"January 1, 1990 Go change it."

"What game console do Latinos use most? XBOX JUAN"

"I accidentally ran over a leprachaun. I brought it home and cooked it up. TRAGICALLY DELICIOUS!"

"Kylo Ren: I can't read your mind! How are you resisting me?! Rey: Occlumency lessons from Professor Snape."

"Q: How do you kill a circus? A: Go for the juggler."

"People don't approve when I run up to them in the street & try to make plaster casts of their faces. At least that's the impression that I get."

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years I don't have 2020 vision"