124907

Joke of the Day

"If you can go to the gym without telling people on the Internet, you are instantly hired by the CIA."

Next Joke
 
"*turns around in my chair and I'm stroking a whole glazed ham in my lap* I've been expecting you."
"What do you call a hockey line with Connor McDavid, Taylor Hall, and Nail Yakupov? The Lottery Line"
"Knock Knock, Islam Knock Knock Who's there? Allah Allah who? Allah who ackbar!!!! ***BOOM***"
"I just long for a relationship with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm missing out on something cool on television or the internet."
"Why is it a bad idea to run behind a car? You'll get exhausted"
"[in the ambulance] Paramedic: what's your blood type? Me: whatever. I'm not fussy"
"""I'm hungry!"" says your sister... ""Hi Hungry, I'm Dad"" your father replies Two hours later, your dad says, ""I'm fucking hungry!"""
"Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. After all, if you can't trust your girlfriend, how do you know she won't tell your wife?"
"Excuse me while I go slip into something more alcohol."
Terms & Privacy