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Joke of the Day
"Sorry I headbutted you, I was gonna punch you but, I was holding wine."
Next Joke
"Carrie Knock! Knock! Who's there? Carrie. Carrie who? Carrie on with what you're doing, I'm at the wrong door."
"Husband: ""Lost my keys again."" Wife: ""It's in your Jeans."" Husband: ""Come on, Why do you have to Drag my family into this!"""
"Why is there more Chuck Norris jokes than Bruce Lee jokes Because Bruce Lee is no joke"
"""God"" not mentioned in Democratic platform means they don't worship God. ""Money"" mentioned eleven times in Republican platform."
"*Looking through binoculars Awww, it looks like she forgot her password. I should remind her what it is."
"What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?... Their knees. (Not sure if this one translates well to english)"
"I've seen suns that weren't as bright as my cell phone is at 6AM."
"""Always give your food a rinse before you eat it,"" my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches."
"""Are you coming over?"" ""Yes, I'm coming over."" ""We should probably stop talking using the radios, over."""