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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a corn husker with tourettes, and a prostitute with diarrhea? One fits before they shuck, the other shits before they fuck."

"How is the elevator business? Oh, it has its up and downs..."

"diseases you get after marriage onegina"

"i took my dog to the vet he never got dry again"

"What doesn't float to the top when it dies? A day old reddit post."

"[Airport Bar] Me: I'll have a beer, please. Bartender: That'll be $45. Me: Worth it."

"Have I told you how much I don't like the cars that can go up vertical surfaces? They drive me up the fucking wall."

"There's nothing more disappointing for a woman than finding out a bearded guy in a flannel shirt is a hipster and not a lumberjack."

"Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates... ... if you're fat, it won't last long."

"what do you call dried cum? sement"