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Joke of the Day

"Where does a Turkey live? A coup."

"You don't like her? Drink more."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock Knock *Who's there?* The chicken!"

"*Receives good, solid, sound advice. *Does exact opposite."

"What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar? About 500 calories."

"Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train? Because it went straight pasta!"

"My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!"

"What do you call a man who is attracted to black guys? A homiesexual!"

"My Ebola outbreak brings the CDC to the yard and they're like, sir that's just irritable bowel syndrome."

"Shout out to accordion files, conveniently storin' documents and expandin' as more are added and whatnot."