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Joke of the Day

"What do a coffee pot, Irene, and the reigning Stanley Cup champions have in common? They're a-Brew'in!"

"Roses are red... violets are red, tulips are red, daisies are red. Doppler shift!"

"With medical advances over the Summer, it's expected that Oscar Pistorious will walk this August."

"I'm writinig a book.... It's called *""""Pop goes the hamster"" and other great microwave games""*"

"I'm sick of people knocking on my door, begging. There's just been a woman asking for donations for a sperm bank........ I gave her a right fcuking mouthful."

"What's the difference between a refugee and E.T? E.T learned English and wanted to go home"

"Where does letters to Santa go. (Dark Humor) In the trash, he's not real."

"Unexplainable things: 1) Stonehenge 2) ESP 3) How my car insurance company can magically lower my renewal cost when I threaten to leave them"

"I like my women they way I like my wine 15 years old and locked in the basement."

"My lizards won't mate... Must be a reptile dysfunction."