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Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken"

"Teaching Japanese kids how to eat with spoon and fork."

"There are two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from an incomplete dataset, and"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger's now working in pest control... He's an ex-terminator."

"What did the mushroom say on his dating profile? I'm a fungi!"

"I was really ticked at my woman tonight, so I stapled her fun bags together. If ya can't lick 'em, join 'em."

"i just went to a bar god damn, it was one sharp crowbar."

"Everyone saying ""Poor Steve Nash, he got hurt again"". POOR? That boy making $9,701,000 this year. If he poor, then I'm skinny."

"When I was a kid 'friends with benefits' meant that kid had a nintendo."

"Shout out to bicyclists that yell ""on your left"" as they pass me so I know which arm to clothesline them with."