71660

Joke of the Day

"What do animals read in zoos? Gnus papers."

"The devil and a lawyer are having a conversation The devil says, ""I will give you the ability to win every case you get, in exchange for your soul."" The lawyer replies, ""Okay, what's the catch?"""

"Not saying I deserve a gold medal in parenting, but it's 4:47 PM and my 4yo just yelled ""FINE THEN, I'M GOING TO BED!"" So you be the judge."

"My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life."

"A man walks into a bar ""Ouch!"""

"""Huge hole found growing on surface of Sun"" *drops string cheese* ""This hole is no cause for alarm"" *picks up string cheese*"

"Someone told me they dont get tattoos cuz ""you dont put bumper stickers on a Ferrari"" which was weird bc he was a 92 Chevy caprice at best"

"Q: What's a cat's second favorite food? - A: Spa-catti!"

"Starbucks, where 11 members of staff frantically do things behind the counter, yet not one of these things appears to resemble a hot drink"

"Is that a pineapple in your pocket, or are you just....Why do you have a pineapple in your pocket?"