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Joke of the Day

"My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life."

"Donald trump Yeah."

"Carl: Everybody was Kung fu fighting! Doug: um, I don't know Kung f-- Carl: except for Doug from accounting"

"Just stirred my coffee with a fork if any of you guys are looking for a new bad boy to join your crew."

"I like to yell ""Aloha, Captain Future!"" when I see someone using an iPad in public."

"What do you call a constable who is good at music? Copper."

"An Exam paper walks into a bar. An Exam paper walks into a bar, sits down and says, ""So, bartender, what will I have?""."

"You're so poor, your neighborhood just received a box full of 49ers Superbowl champions t shirts."

"I consider you a female sheep Gotta say it aloud. *ewe"

"A penguin walks into a bar and asks ""Has my brother been in here?"" And the bartender says ""I don't know. What does he look like?"""