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Joke of the Day

"i hate it when Darth Vader puts eggs in my mailbox and then rides away on a kids tricycle"

"I once got a d in school. It was degrading."

"I can't prove God isn't real, but at the same time, I can't prove that my dog doesn't run a violent Asian street gang while I'm asleep."

"You don't know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself"

"Where does a porn addict keep his videos? In his sex drive"

"What did the leper say to the hooker? Keep the tip."

"A man has a sore throat and goes to the doctor... Doctor: ""Your tonsils gotta come out."" Patient: ""I want a second opinion!"" Doctor: ""Okay, I don't like your haircut."""

"Boss: John, tell me your greatest weakness Me: Honesty B: I don't think that's a weakness M: I don't give a shit what you think."

"I know weathermen get excited about snow, but it's kind of distracting when they jerk off during the forecast."

"I made this up when i was 10... Whats a frogs favorite restaurant? IHOP!!!"