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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that the saucepan beat the pot in a wrestling match? It was a real boil over."

"You may refer to him as Cap'n Crunch to others, but you must still salute him in person."

"A woman goes shopping and she buys one tomato, one steak, one yogurt, and a small bottle of soda. The cashier asks her : ""you're single, aren't you?"" Yes, how did you guess? Because you're ugly."

"How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it."

"I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max."

"They should bring lacrosse to the X Games... It would be a great opportunity to advertise ex-lax"

"you're her boyfriend?! That's cool! I'm her manfriend!"

"I'll never know if those cookies will give me super powers or not unless I eat some."

"""The doctor can see you now."" - a nurse, after removing the doctor's blindfold."

"What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home? She moved."