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Joke of the Day
"How do rabbis make money off of circumcisions? They get to keep the tips."
Next Joke
"[lost in Spain] Wife: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Spanish with a local]: gracias Wife: well? Me: we are in Spain"
"How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking? Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time."
"I like my coffee like I like my men Black and shot twice"
"Politics are like a dick. They keep on getting rammed down my throat."
"If Hillary becomes president... ...will that make Bill the first husband?"
"Stores in baltimore have been completely looted. all that's left is sunscreen and father's day cards. sauce: http://imgur.com/gallery/Tae9PI5"
"What do you call a bundle of hay in a church? Christian Bale."
"What would you call the mailman if he got fired? I don't know, just some dude."
"I just woke up and scared the hell out of this mortician."