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Joke of the Day

"What happened to the naughty little witch at school? She was ex-spelled."

"In honor of Mother's day yesterday, did anyone here play jokes on their mom instead of give gifts?"

"Homework. Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge."

"I farted on the bus today and four people turned around. I actually felt like I was on the voice."

"What shape is your hair in the morning? A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)"

"How Many Dragonball Z Characters Does it Take to Screw in a Light-bulb? just one, but it will take 4 episodes."

"I think you can all settle down. Its unlikely Instagram will ever find buyers for photos of 20 000 feet and a billion sunsets."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Artichoke ! Artichoke who ! Artichoke when he swallowed his yo-yo !"

"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything."

"But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won."