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Joke of the Day

"*burst into doctor's office* ME: I'm no longer canstopetid DOCTOR: You mean constipated ME: No I've had a vowel movement DOCTOR: Get out"

"Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head."

"I completely understand parents who choose not to vaccinate their children... ...because they all got vaccinated as children, and obviously turned out retarded."

"Remember when white people rioted when OJ was acquitted? neither do I."

"Ever try to pee when you've got a boner? It's hard."

"What's the weather like in Iraq ? Sunni in the North Shiite in the South."

"I'm really regretting getting that discount circumcision... ...it was a total rip-off!"

"""Careful, there's poop on the dance floor."" - how ballet was invented."

"How high are you? Cop How high are you? Me No, you are wrong. Its Hi, how are you?"

"There's no problem you can't solve with a great night of dancing. Except for a broken foot. Then you should see a doctor."