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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key."
Next Joke
"The proper skirt length is at least 2 inches below your cellulite."
"Him: Are you gonna kill me? Me: WHAT? Him: Your mood swings. I figured today's the day I die. Me: Him: *whispers* Please don't hurt me."
"I just punched what I thought was a paparazzi with a long lens. It was an old man with a wheat bread sub. Sorry."
"Last week, a girl at a local bakery backed into the bread slicer... Disaster."
"My subscription brings all the newspapers to the yard."
"Just think if the kids that made Frosty the Snowman brought two carrots that day."
"When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, ""No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"""
"Must be confusing for Sean Connery's grandchildren when he asks them to ""Come shit on my lap."""
"What kind of dinosaur writes poetry? A Bronte-saurus."