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Joke of the Day
"You know you're a bad driver when your GPS tells you ""after 400 feet stop and let me out"""
Next Joke
"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."
"If I was your alarm clock, how would I wake you up every morning? With a big dong......."
"If the opposite of pro is con, what's the opposite of progress? The Republican party."
"What is a heroin addict's favorite website? Instagram."
"What's green with a brown tip? The cucumbers in Elton John's fridge."
"How does a ghost start a letter? Tomb it may concern."
"Why are Microsoft circuit boards so bad? They use French resistors."
"""If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end, the person will die."" -- Neil deGrasse Tyson https://twitter.com/neiltyson"
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day."