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Joke of the Day

"""What do we want?"" ""Yesterday!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""NOW!"" ~ Conservatives"

"Carpentry isn't what Jesus Christ is most known for because he was bored with nails."

"People who write hai and bai, wai?"

"I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid"

"Should America make China the 51st state so we can get better access to Chinese food? I'm so sick and tired of Panda Express."

"My first highschool football game was a lot like my first time having sex... I was bloody and sore by the end, but at least my dad came Repost from r/darkhumour"

"WAYS TO KILL 2 BIRDS W/ 1 STONE 1 Ricochet 2 Retrieve, rethrow 3 Line up birds precisely 4 Huge boulder 5 Use lovebirds, 2nd dies of grief"

"What did the suave frog say to the hot frog? You're ribbeting!"

"Fiber Monday is a great idea... but is once a year often enough ? Oh....it's Cyber Monday ? Never mind."

"*Michael Cera stubs his toe on a cotton ball*"