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Joke of the Day

"*wife leaves message on fridge w/ magnets* WE ARET HROUGH maybe it's an anagram *rearranges* ROUGH WEATHER whoa better pack an umbrella"

"""Sooth."" -a soothsayer"

"What is the most searched porn on the ginger-bread man's computer? Crumbshots"

"Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting."

"A bad Workman blames his fools *tools Fucking autocorrect"

"As a California resident, I know autumn and Christmas are coming only because of the change in the featured Starbucks flavors."

"If George Washington were alive today... he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin and screaming incoherently."

"""What's funny?"" The microwave beeping as you walked backwards. ""Why's that funny?"" Because large objects beep going in reverse, Diane."

"We need more women in science! said the feminist gender studies student..."

"My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names... ...in the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain."